Back to the bottom..

Had practice from 5:30-10pm with XSS. It seems to me that it doesn't matter how hard we push, how much more we can give, because it's not going to make a difference. Dance has always been my constant. The one thing that has never let me down, that can put a smile on my face. But what happens when I'm doubting it?

It hurts so much because I honestly do not know what else I can do for my crew, for my family. The pressure and stress don't even get to me anymore after today. But now it's something else. I feel so small.. as if I don't measure up to all those amazing crews I see that have made it into Worlds. What more can I possibly do? We practice, practice, practice.. Go over it 100 times at home. Then clean, clean, clean. We groove, we swag, we feel. Yet something is missing.

What breaks my heart is knowing that no matter how much I give, it'll never be close to enough.